I might've killed it
The Fifty-Fourth Letter

Alexander Mills • Pastor
February 24, 2026

2 Minute Read

I have a problem that’s completely beyond my control. It taunts me daily from behind the glass, motionless yet powerful. It’s a caterpillar in a cocoon, and I don’t know if it’s ever going to emerge.

The reason that’s a problem is because I have an inquisitive almost-five-year-old who regularly asks me about it. Just this week, he asked me pointedly: “Dad, what happens if it doesn’t turn into a butterfly?”

It’s beyond my control. I just don’t know. Despite my greatest efforts or most earnest prayers, I can’t make that inch-long caterpillar that we harvested off the dill in the backyard and so tenderly took care of complete its metamorphosis and turn into the brilliant Eastern Swallowtail butterfly that we have so longingly hoped for. It was supposed to emerge about six weeks after it entered its cocoon, the internet says, but the internet also says that sometimes they overwinter without explanation. All of our hope is suspended in that papery brown sarcophagus.

17th-century pastor-theologian Samuel Rutherford famously said that “Grace grows best in winter.” The Scottish winters were certainly dark and long. In Niagara, too, we feel constrained by an arctic grip. We look desperately for signs of spring, wishing the wintry weather away in exchange for green grass and brilliant blooms. We wish our winters away.

Whether that caterpillar ever emerges or not, of this I can be sure – God does his best work in the dark. In this Lenten season, whether we enter the wilderness willingly or if it comes upon us, our hope is that God’s grace is always at work, and it seems especially when we perceive it the least. When the ground is covered in a blanket of snow, and the sun hasn’t shone for what feels like an eternity, what’s true is that the earth is still stirring and brimming with life. Beyond our sight, there is all sorts of microbiology that is coordinating to burst forth with new life at the first feel of thaw. Grace is always growing.

I believe that there is a caterpillar transforming into something entirely new in that cocoon, but even if there isn’t, my hope is in the grace of God that is always leading me into new life. This grace will lead us home.

Grace and peace,
Pastor Alexander

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Up Next
From this Author: Alexander Mills
June 19, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
Our First Week
Our first week, in the books I’m writing to you on late Friday night, sweat on my brow, stars in the sky. Our first week in Uganda is coming to a close. We travelled all of Monday and Tuesday, arriving in the Pearl of Africa late Tuesday night. The boys did as well as we could have hoped during our air travel, and our 5 hour trek to Jinja on Wednesday felt like a breeze. We’ve settled in nicely here. We’re staying in the home of some American missionaries who call Uganda home. They’re back in the US for the summer, so they opened their doors to us. We have a little extra space here, so Verity (our British friend that we met in Uganda back in 2011) is staying with us for the next two weeks. She arrived on Thursday. Today, Verity and I (Alexander) travelled to Hanak International School to teach first aid training to primary and secondary students. It’s the last day of their school year, but the teachers were so eager at the opportunity for us to teach these emergency skills that they brought us in to end their year. We spent the morning teaching about 30 primary students, roughly grades 1-3, and the afternoon with a group of secondary students. We taught them emergency first aid skills like CPR, choking, wound care, snake bites, and drowning. Verity is a first-aid instructor for YWAM in Australia where she lives and works. What’s Next 💡 Next week, we’ll be connecting with Pambazuka Ministries to serve pregnant teens in their care. Rebecca will be teaching prenatal and postpartum care, breastfeeding and newborn care, and bringing menstrual education to schools. She’ll also be teaching nurses some midwifery skills. Ebola Update 🦠 The Ebola outbreak in Uganda is completely under control. There have been no new cases reported in the country since we arrived. Life in Jinja is business as usual. Stay Updated I’m planning to write one of these posts every other week or so while we’re away (depending on internet access). To stay up to date on our trip in real time, subscribe to these posts below to get them sent directly to your inbox whenever we write. Grace and peace. Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden To get in contact with us directly now or while we’re away, email alexander@lifeabundantniagara.com. We’ll be checking in regularly.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

June 15, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
Aaaand we're off!
You’ve sent us off. That was the word at church yesterday: we’re not just going to Uganda, but our community is sending us. That delineation matters. We feel it, too. Your prayers, your kindness, your generosity. They are the wind in our sails. What’s Happening This Week We’ll arrive in Uganda late Tuesday night. We’ll spend what’s left of that night in an airport guesthouse, and then we’ll finish the final leg of our journey to Jinja on Wednesday. We’ll take some time to settle in before our work begins on Friday. Verity, a British friend of ours from our first time in Uganda, will be flying in on Thursday to spend two weeks with us. This Friday, Verity and I (Alexander) will be leading first aid training in a local school. We’ll teach CPR, wound care, and other basic life saving skills. Fun fact: Verity works full time with YWAM Medical Ships in Australia and Papua New Guinea! Ebola Update 🦠 The WHO reports that the Ebola outbreak in Uganda is completely under control. As of today, there have been 20 confirmed cases, all in isolated care in the capital city. Life in Uganda is business as usual in every district. How to Pray For Us 🙏 Our Travel – pray that our travel day, although long, will be smooth. Let’s believe that our bags and our boys will arrive to our destination in one piece. 🙏 Our Arrival – pray that the boys will ease into their new environment gracefully and easily. 🙏 Our First Week Of Work – pray that the first things we put our hands and hearts to will be fruitful. Stay Updated I’m planning to write one of these posts every other week or so while we’re away (depending on internet access). To stay up to date on our trip in real time, subscribe to these posts below to get them sent directly to your inbox whenever we write. Grace and peace. Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden To get in contact with us directly now or while we’re away, email alexander@lifeabundantniagara.com. We’ll be checking in regularly.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

June 2, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
We're going to need your prayers now
Since the last time we wrote you, a lot has changed. In late May, the WHO Director-General determined that the Ebola disease in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Uganda constitutes a Public Health Emergency of International Concern. That’s a high level of concern. A few quick things to put that into perspective: The outbreak is critical in the Congo, and neighbouring nation to Uganda. The border between the Congo and Uganda has been closed. As of today, there are 15 confirmed cases in Uganda. The disease is currently very under control where we’re headed. The Ugandan government is suggesting business as usual for daily life. No school closures, no districts under lockdown. With all of that in mind, we’re still planning to take our trip. It won’t be without adjustments, however. The Canadian government (in coordination with the WHO) have instituted a mandatory 21-day isolation period upon return from Uganda. For that reason, we’ll be adjusting the length of our trip, heading home about three weeks earlier than planned to account for our isolation. Our airline KLM seems to have stopped sending planes from Amsterdam to Entebbe. It’s unclear how this will impact our travel route, but we have yet to be notified about any changes to our itinerary. We need your faith, wisdom, and prayers to navigate these new challenges well. We want to make good and mindful decisions while also following the wind of the Spirit. We’re trusting God with this.Support Our Trip Stay Updated I’m planning to write one of these posts every other week or so while we’re away (depending on internet access). To stay up to date on our trip in real time, subscribe to these posts below to get them sent directly to your inbox whenever we write. What's Next We'd love your specific prayer over these next few weeks. How to Pray For Us 🙏 The Ebola virus – Pray that the healthcare professionals in every country affected are well equipped to temper the spread of this virus, and that the infected will be recovered. 🙏 Our final vaccinations – The boys have one more shot left. Pray that their bodies know exactly what to do. 🙏 The rest of our supplies – we’re still collecting everything we need for ourselves to be in Africa for the summer, as well as the things we want to bring to donate to others. We’re so grateful for you. We wouldn’t have as much courage to follow the Spirit if we didn’t know that you were on the journey with us. Grace and peace. Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden To get in contact with us directly now or while we’re away, email alexander@lifeabundantniagara.com. We’ll be checking in regularly.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

May 20, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
Less than a month to go
We’ve gone from counting down the time in months, to weeks, and now days. We’re heading out on June 16th, which is less than a month away. Here we go! A Couple Updates We’re in the final stages of packing now. Here are the things we’re still collecting to bring along: Post partum diapers Baby aspirin for pregnant women Belly bands We’re currently fundraising to raise money for birth kits that we’ll be hand delivering to the village. Each kit is worth $10 and gives a pregnant woman everything she needs to be accepted at the hospital for delivery. Any support helps make a measurable difference in someone’s life.Support Our Trip Our boys did so well with their Yellow Fever vaccines last week. We’re so grateful for the support that we’ve received from The North York Travel Clinic as we have prepared for this trip. We only have one more shot for the kids to get, second week of June. Stay Updated I’m planning to write one of these posts every other week or so while we’re away (depending on internet access). To stay up to date on our trip in real time, subscribe to these posts below to get them sent directly to your inbox whenever we write. What's Next We have to finish packing of course, prepare our home to be away for the summer, and set our work up for success as we take unpaid leaves. We'd love your specific prayer over these next few weeks. How to Pray For Us 🙏 Our final vaccinations – The boys have one more shot left. Pray that their bodies know exactly what to do. 🙏 The rest of our supplies – we’re still collecting everything we need for ourselves to be in Africa for the summer, as well as the things we want to bring to donate to others. We’re so grateful for you. We wouldn’t have as much courage to follow the Spirit if we didn’t know that you were on the journey with us. Grace and peace. Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden To get in contact with us directly now or while we’re away, email alexander@lifeabundantniagara.com. We’ll be checking in regularly.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

May 19, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
Stepping into our next season
This is your one-stop spot for everything happening in our church family. From kids to adults, small groups to special events, here's how you can grow in connection with our faith community. On the brink of a new season This time of year finds us in a new season, both on our church calendar and the meteorological one. This Sunday is Pentecost, the day we’ll re-tell the story of the pouring out of the Holy Spirit. It marks the end of our six-month journey of telling the story of Jesus from his incarnation through to his ascension. For us in Niagara, that also coincides with moving from springtime into summer. Summer is full of all kinds of glories like fresh strawberries and peaches later, family camping trips and simply staycations. It’s a season defined by sunshine, rest, and play. During the summer season as many of us are engaged in resting, playing, et cetera, our weekend gatherings tend to take on a different complexion. They are often smaller, shorter, and simpler. That’s good, too. No less glorious than any other Sunday. It’s perfectly permissible to relax into the rhythm of the summer while still staying connected to community. So enjoy your summer, practice justice, love mercy. Walk in the grace of God and keep your eyes open to see glories revealed in every step you take. Each Sunday we will continue to re-gather and re-member. We have the church picnic to look forward to, and the impromptu post-service picnics each week. We’ll see you this season at the corner of Concession 7 and Queenston Road. Thursday, May 21st 🙏 Join us every Thursday at 1:00pm in the sanctuary for prayer. Bring your own prayer requests, your prayers for others, and your willingness to be formed through the practice of prayer.New here? We'd love to connect. Community Prayer We are a people of prayer. Here’s what we’re praying for this week: 🙏 Jim Mills – Jim is in the final stage of his battle with cancer. Pray for God’s nearness to be known and felt. 🙏 Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden – Our pastors are heading to Uganda in less than a month. Pray for their provision and peace.Read The Latest On The Mills' Trip 🙏 Our Students – As the school year draws to an end, pray for our students that they would have the strength to finish well. Submit your own prayer request here. Giving Your generosity makes our work in Niagara possible. We’re so grateful for you.Give Now Here Stay Connected 📩 Subscribe to this Collection to get these updates delivered directly to your inbox. 📸 Follow us on Instagram 💬 Pastoral care or questions? Connect with us here. Services: Sundays @ 10:30am 384 Concession 7 Rd., Niagara on the Lake

Alexander Mills

Pastor

May 19, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
Not the update I ever expected to write
I’m writing you to tell you about something that I truly thought would never occur. Back in February I told you about the caterpillar that lives on my desk. Well, I used the word “lives” rather generously, because that caterpillar spun himself up into a sandy sarcophagus last summer and has neglected to emerge. Our hope of that caterpillar transforming into a brilliant Easter Swallowtail butterfly has been indefinitely suspended.I might've killed it We’ve been holding our hope, but only because the internet suggested that we could. “Although most caterpillars emerge from their cocoons within four to six weeks, they will sometimes (albeit rare) overwinter without any explanation.” What is happening (or not happening) inside that jar on my desk has been completely beyond my control. My confidence that anything has been happening at all has been slim. Which is why I was startled to the point of literally saying “Oh my God!” out loud last week when I looked up from my computer and saw a butterfly. What I said to you back in the winter is still true. “Whether that caterpillar ever emerges or not, of this I can be sure – God does his best work in the dark. I believe that there is a caterpillar transforming into something entirely new in that cocoon, but even if there isn’t, my hope is in the grace of God that is always leading me into new life.” So many of the outcomes of our daily lives are completely beyond our control. Many of the things we hope for don’t come to fruition. But sometimes, they do. If we’re paying attention, we are sure to be surprised by hope and startled by grace. God is not a silent spectator—a watchman on the sidelines of the game of your life. God is an active agent in the fabric of your being. The animating force of everything we enjoy. He is the wind that blows and the fire that burns. He is the creative imagination that dreamt up butterflies from caterpillars. Want I really want to say to you today is that hope is worth holding onto. God is worth believing in. There is glory and grace and goodness to be held if we would only open our hearts and our hands and believe. That’s easier said than done, which is why we practice believing in community. It’s easy, sensible even, to discard your last grain of hope in the dark when there seem to be no signs of life worth living. That’s when you need someone to believe for you, hold onto faith with you, and walk along in the grace of God alongside you. This letter is about a butterfly, it’s about me, and it’s about you. Grace and peace, Pastor Alexander P.S. here’s a picture of a very proud five-year-old who is full of hope and completely void of cynicism.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

May 5, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
Mothers Day at church – a multi-generation panel
This is your one-stop spot for everything happening in our church family. From kids to adults, small groups to special events, here's how you can grow in connection with our faith community. This Sunday, May 10th 🌸 It’s Mother’s Day, and we’ll be hosting a generational panel of moms in our church to share from their wells of wisdom. Each mom is parenting in a different stage, and they will all bring their individual journey with God to the table. Thursday, May 7th 🙏 Join us every Thursday at 1:00pm in the sanctuary for prayer. Bring your own prayer requests, your prayers for others, and your willingness to be formed through the practice of prayer.New here? We'd love to connect. Community Prayer We are a people of prayer. Here’s what we’re praying for this week: 🙏 Jim Mills – Jim is in the final stage of his battle with cancer. Pray for God’s nearness to be known and felt. 🙏 Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden – Our pastors are heading to Uganda in less than 6 weeks. Pray for their provision and peace.Read The Latest On The Mills' Trip 🙏 Our Students – As the school year draws to an end, pray for our students that they would have the strength to finish well. 🙏 Jordan, Jessica, Hazel & Margot – Jordan and Jess welcomed baby Margot to the family this week. Pray for health, healing, and a gentle adjustment for big sister Hazel. Submit your own prayer request here. Giving Your generosity makes our work in Niagara possible. We’re so grateful for you.Give Now Here Stay Connected 📩 Subscribe to this Collection to get these updates delivered directly to your inbox. 📸 Follow us on Instagram 💬 Pastoral care or questions? Connect with us here. Services: Sundays @ 10:30am 384 Concession 7 Rd., Niagara on the Lake

Alexander Mills

Pastor

May 5, 2026 • 4 Minute Read
The countdown is on
When we started counting down to our trip in weeks rather than months, it started to feel real. In less than six weeks, our family of four will be heading to Uganda for the entire summer. The genesis of this trip was a moment more than a year ago. God met Rebecca in the car, and then Rebecca called me. “I think we’re supposed to go back to Uganda”, she said. “I’m not so sure about that”, I replied. “Dear, I think God told me this.” “Oh,” I said, “then we’ll have to think about that.” We started following where the Wind was blowing, and sure enough, I can say confidently today that God is leading us where we’re headed. We want to take a moment to say thank you. Thank you for journeying alongside us, letting us borrow your faith and cash in your prayers, and of course, for all the practical ways you’ve helped us so far. Sure, the four Mills’s are making the trek, but we don’t go alone. You’re with us Here’s Where We’re At Making lists and packing, making more lists and packing some more. Our guest room has been overwhelmed by suitcases, voltage converters, and closed toe sandals. We’re putting everything together a little bit at a time. Our plan is to pack our personal suitcases as efficiently as possible so that we can have room to bring things that some folks have requested. Some things we’re planning to bring along: Post partum diapers Baby aspirin for pregnant women Belly bands Supplements Clothes We’re currently fundraising to raise money for birth kits that we’ll be hand delivering to the village. Each kit is worth $10 and gives a pregnant woman everything she needs to be accepted at the hospital for delivery. Any support helps make a measurable difference in someone’s life.Support Our Trip Our Trip Is Shaping Up Did you know that time is told differently in different parts of the world? Affectionately, there’s a way to tell time the African way, which simply means that things don’t always start on time or go according to plan. That being said, the schedule for our trip is shaping up. It’s not fixed, but here’s an idea of what we’ll be doing at any given time. We’ll be partnering with Pambazuka Ministries in Jinja to serve pregnant teens in their care. Rebecca will be teaching prenatal and postpartum care, breastfeeding and newborn care, and bringing menstrual education to schools. She’ll also be teaching nurses some midwifery skills. Alexander will be leading bible studies for the staff and women in the ministry, as well as discipling young pastors in the area. We’ll then go into the village to work with Redeemer Ministries to distribute the aforementioned birthing kits. The mortality rate of birthing women in Uganda is 1 in 47, and these life-saving kits can have a measurable impact on reversing that. What's Next We have to finish packing of course, prepare our home to be away for the summer, and set our work up for success as we take unpaid leaves. Our visas finally came through this week (thank God!), and we only have two vaccine appointments left. We'd love your specific prayer over these next few weeks. How to Pray For Us 🙏 Our yellow fever vaccinations – Rebecca and I are both vaccinated from our last trip, but the boys need their shots. This is big one, so pray for grace and gentle healing. 🙏 The rest of our supplies – we’re still collecting everything we need for ourselves to be in Africa for the summer, as well as the things we want to bring to donate to others. We’re so grateful for you. We wouldn’t have as much courage to follow the Spirit if we didn’t know that you were on the journey with us. Grace and peace. Alexander, Rebecca, Asher & Aiden To get in contact with us directly now or while we’re away, email alexander@lifeabundantniagara.com. We’ll be checking in regularly.

Alexander Mills

Pastor

April 21, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
How to see God
My dad takes a conservative approach to giving and using nicknames. For the most part, he’ll call you by your given name. That was my experience as a child with one exception – he affectionately called me Farsight. Born from the imagination of C.S. Lewis into the land of Narnia, Farsight was a talking eagle who served as a messenger to the King. True to his nature and name, his eyesight was spectacular. He saw what others couldn’t. I guess I garnered the name thanks to my ability to notice. The deer on the field edge, the chickadee perched, the missing lego over there. By nature it seems, I’m often able to see what others can’t. Yet here’s the truth – I’m not eagle-eyed. My ability to see is no more than 20/20, in fact without my glasses, it’s much less than that. I’m convinced, however, that seeing—and more importantly, noticing—is a nurtured ability. It’s practiced and perfected. It’s work. The poet says, “to pay attention is our endless and proper work.” The priest agrees: “My only prayer practice is attention.” There’s a sacred discipline to the art of noticing. Paying attention to the budding branch, the singing bird, the forming storm, is no doubt an act of spiritual practice. This act of noticing makes an opportunity to at least acknowledge God, and at best encounter him. Worship him. See him, hear him, smell him, touch him, taste him. Worship him. And yes, this takes practice. It’s not hyperbole to say that there are more voices and visions vying for our attention now more than there ever have been, so this work may be more difficult than ever as well. Hard work is good work, beloved. Begin here with an intentional choice today: go for a walk, get a house plant, look up from your phone. gaze at the gluten structure of a piece of bread, think about your fingerprints, look up from your phone. listen to a bird song, listen to a secular song, look up from your phone. Look up, look around, look above and below. Open your eyes to see that there’s evidence of resurrection everywhere you look. But you have to look. God can be and is revealed in all manner of ordinary things, especially created things. There are reflections of his goodness in just about every corner, crack, and crevasse if you’re looking for him. May we be formed into a people who are always looking, noticing, and behold God wherever he may be found. Grace and peace, Pastor Alexander

Alexander Mills

Pastor

March 24, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
Who you're not required to love
There’s a new law of this land, according to the Lord of Love. One night at supper with his friends, he looked up from the table and said, “I’m giving you a new commandment, and it’s this: love one another! Just as I have loved you, so you must love one another.” And not just one another (that’s easy enough), or your neighbour (that’s doable), but your enemy, too. By this expression of love, the Lord says, will the world know you to be a follower of Jesus. Love your enemy; Your rich enemy, and your poor one too. Your gay enemy, your straight enemy, your conservative enemy, your liberal enemy, your violent enemy, your quiet enemy, your black enemy, your white enemy, your familiar enemy, your foreign enemy. Love every expression of an enemy that you can imagine, for an enemy is likely just someone whose story you haven’t heard yet. With one exception. There is an enemy that we all share, who is diametrically opposed to the aim of all of our lives. This is the only enemy exempt from the law of the Lord. It does not deserve a single sliver of our love. This enemy is death. Death is not simply the natural end to our lives, as secularism might say. Neither is it the glorious passageway to streets of gold as religion confesses. But it is “the final enemy to be destroyed” according to the apostle Paul. Not to be accepted or loved, but to be destroyed. I know I don’t have to convince you of this. There are many of you reading this who have tasted the sting of death very recently, and some of you already this week. It’s a stinging nettle, a bitter water, a gut punch. There is nothing to love about the enemy of our lives, yet on our own, we are powerless to destroy it. Thanks be to God that the Lord of Life himself has defeated death by death and, through his action, given us the gift of life. It is the source of our gladness this Easter. This is the law of love. To reach our gladness, however, we must first walk through the valley of death. On Good Friday, join us at church at 9AM for a quiet and contemplative meeting at the grave. Bring your boots, for after the service we’ll wander through the woods together on a community hike. On Holy Saturday, consider committing to some form of silence. Keep the TV off, put your AirPods in the drawer, give an hour to prayer and meditation. And then on Easter Sunday, we’ll meet again to worship the giver of life. We’ll receive his love, and then we’ll share it with each other as we join in a meal after the service. Grace and peace, Pastor Alexander

Alexander Mills

Pastor

March 10, 2026 • 3 Minute Read
The kinds of videos my mom sends me
Rarely does a day go by without me receiving a video on Instagram or Facebook from my mother. Whether it’s a recipe, an activity to do with the kids, or just something to make me laugh, she’s always sending me something. I don’t think she actually expects me to cook all three of the recipes she sent me yesterday, rather, I think she saw something that reminded her of me, and she wanted to share that joy with her son. I receive her videos as little tokens of affection. She’s not the only one, of course. My dad is notorious for sending me memes that balance on the brink of what is appropriate. My wife sends me parenting videos that make us laugh until we cry (or cry until we laugh). I send plenty of wrestling videos to the group chat with the boys. But on December 8th, my mother-in-law sent me a video with this note attached: “I thought this was such a great idea!” It was a great idea, and yesterday I finally did it. The journey that the Christian wanders over the course of a calendar year is a “vast and dramatic story-ing”. If you conform your life to the rhythm of the Christian calendar, your year will begin at Advent, journey through Lent and Easter, and find fulfillment at Pentecost. Telling time this way makes sure that we take our place in the story of Jesus. Eugene Peterson says that without this dramatic story-ing and sufficient liturgical support and structure, “we are very apt to edit the story down to fit our individual tastes and predispositions.” That’s why our Christmas tree didn’t make it out to the curb this year. It has been weathering the winter outside in the backyard, and yesterday I turned it into a cross. You’re right, Mom (and stranger who made the video on the internet), it was a great idea to save the branches and boughs of Christmastime to turn them into a memorial of God’s impending death. These wooden symbols – an evergreen tree and a bare torture device – and their coinciding dates on the church calendar, affirm what we believe are the most important events in all of time. God was born among us, and God died like us. The cross is the central axis point of our entire worldview, and now there’s one erected in our slumbering springtime garden. It’s dramatic, yes, it’s storytelling, of course, and it’s essential lest my own story become too important. Grace and peace, Pastor Alexander

Alexander Mills

Pastor

Currently Reading
February 24, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
I might've killed it
I have a problem that’s completely beyond my control. It taunts me daily from behind the glass, motionless yet powerful. It’s a caterpillar in a cocoon, and I don’t know if it’s ever going to emerge. The reason that’s a problem is because I have an inquisitive almost-five-year-old who regularly asks me about it. Just this week, he asked me pointedly: “Dad, what happens if it doesn’t turn into a butterfly?” It’s beyond my control. I just don’t know. Despite my greatest efforts or most earnest prayers, I can’t make that inch-long caterpillar that we harvested off the dill in the backyard and so tenderly took care of complete its metamorphosis and turn into the brilliant Eastern Swallowtail butterfly that we have so longingly hoped for. It was supposed to emerge about six weeks after it entered its cocoon, the internet says, but the internet also says that sometimes they overwinter without explanation. All of our hope is suspended in that papery brown sarcophagus. 17th-century pastor-theologian Samuel Rutherford famously said that “Grace grows best in winter.” The Scottish winters were certainly dark and long. In Niagara, too, we feel constrained by an arctic grip. We look desperately for signs of spring, wishing the wintry weather away in exchange for green grass and brilliant blooms. We wish our winters away. Whether that caterpillar ever emerges or not, of this I can be sure – God does his best work in the dark. In this Lenten season, whether we enter the wilderness willingly or if it comes upon us, our hope is that God’s grace is always at work, and it seems especially when we perceive it the least. When the ground is covered in a blanket of snow, and the sun hasn’t shone for what feels like an eternity, what’s true is that the earth is still stirring and brimming with life. Beyond our sight, there is all sorts of microbiology that is coordinating to burst forth with new life at the first feel of thaw. Grace is always growing. I believe that there is a caterpillar transforming into something entirely new in that cocoon, but even if there isn’t, my hope is in the grace of God that is always leading me into new life. This grace will lead us home. Grace and peace, Pastor Alexander

Alexander Mills

Pastor